UnderRemember

UnderRemember

Well here I go again.  Yes once again I have had to create a new word to best describe our current situation. My disappointment in this English language many of us use to communicate has let me down.  During the multiple lockdowns caused by a few non-compliant individuals, has forced many  responsible ones to find internal distractions to pass the time away.  As Winston Churchill almost said, “Never have so few pissed off so many!” 

The kinder ones are volunteering at the local food bank to contribute to the less fortunate ones where life’s simple necessities are being challenged.  My occasional contribution of cans of beans, and an almost expired jar of Coffee Mate, to a box in front of my grocery store may have gone unnoticed, but recently I prefer real cream.

As people revisit older hobbies, like stamp collecting, winter gardening, wallpapering , calligraphy, photography, pornography, cartography, autobiography or purchasing a 2,000 piece jigsaw puzzle, I have been reading the dictionary. The similarities between the Webster dictionary and the Oxford dictionary are striking.

As we approach year one of this pandemic, sentiments of what we are missing and the reconsidering of life priorities are being expressed by many.  Touching reflections of new feelings and thoughts are being posted everywhere, and have even helped the struggling bumper sticker business.  The issue is, because of the constant reminders of this, our language has let us down.  There is not a word to best describe our current epiphany of appreciation.  Well until now.

I have done this before, (my Blong blog) where the weighty responsibilty of creating a new word, falls on my shoulders, because you folks are to busy trying to get Zoom into the gallery setting so you can see many friends talking at the same time.

Because I have done this before, I have a process I must adhere to, for ultimate success with the dictionary people.   The word is UnderRemember, and for those who chose not to read today’s offering because the title made no sense, you will never have the chance to increase your vocabulary.

So the process is I invent the word, I define it and then I call the dictionary editors, to gain approval of my hard work.  I call Oxford first because like dictionaries, I feel going alphabetical is important.  I leave a message and I wait.

Finally I get a call back, but it is a surprising response.  Apparently I am in great debt with my country’s tax laws. If I don’t pay immediately police will arrive at my door, and jail time during this Covid-19, might sound like responsible social distancing, but I prefer walls over bars in my room.  Well fortunately these considerate strangers on the phone, helped with my tax fraud problems.  I only had to give them, my Social Insurance number, my PIN for my bank card, a blood sample and finally the names and phone numbers of 20 friends of mine who I suspected were irresponsible with their own tax commitments, fraudulent by nature, and very sarcastic in tone (That was the easiest part).   I sure slept well that night knowing that this year’s tax submission was going to be a breeze.

As time passed it became clear that Oxford dictionary executives were not going to return my call.  The Webster Dictionary company, were far better in their riposte (found that word in their dictionary) but they challenged my creation.

They made the mistake of thinking I had invented “Misremembered”, which was a word Roger Clemens used during the famous Athlete Steroid Use Scandal during his 2008 U.S. Senate testimony.  I felt surprisingly superior,  having to correct the dictionary people, explaining that word was not my word.  In fact that word was more of a synonym for lying and cheating, which I slowly explained was pretty well the opposite of the word I had created.

After this, what I felt, was a very well received 47 second call, I asked if I could submit my word and definition to the person at their company responsible for page 1286 of their book.  They might have already hung up when I shared that my word, UnderRemember, would be easily placed right between, underreact and underreport.  Here’s a preview of what will appear in next year’s dictionary.

UnderRemember \  en-de(r)-ri-‘mem-bur\ verb 1.  The inability to comprehend what is really important.  i.e. Overthinking the flaw in your work colleague’s report while under-appreciating the years of interdependent support .  2.  Aware that it took a damn pandemic to rererember that a coffee you had with a dear friend 9 months ago was precious time well spent.  3.  Understanding that John Lennon’s lyric “Life is what happens while were busy making other plans” was a prophetic warning of misplaced priorities.  4.  An overwhelming feeling of regret, because your inability to live in the present moment, allowed your crowded head to get in the way of your life long connections. 5.  Forgetting to remember to remember.  6.  Your incredible ability to feel love and tenderness towards others without ever saying it.  Of all the acts of UnderRemembering this might be the greatest sin.  e.g. Sentence:  Looking back on life’s complexities, the simplest pleasures, like the smell of my mom’s perfume, the touch my dad’s rough hands, the smile on my children’s faces, and my siblings unique musical voices are the things I UnderRemember the most. Opposite:OverRemember:  That’s okay to do, so try that as often as you can. Cherish every memory you have of every person you know.  Acceptable usage of your addictive phone camera, will allow you to constantly overappreciate the beautiful flawed faces of the people you know.  e.g. Sentence:  I cannot overremember enough, the far too many people I now know, I have regrettably UnderRemembered. Other forms: Adj; (sic) UnderRememberable. Noun; (sic) UnderRembered. Adv; (sic) UnderRemberedly. Okay I am a little sic and tired of this definition!

The work is done.   I will update you on its progress.  I may have forgot to include the Latin roots of the word UnderRemember, but I am sure Webster’s will correct any tiny flaw with my detailed contribution to their rather large plotless book.  If I have helped you to understand this unusual word, my wish is next time you might overstand its intended meaning.

Cue the Blong: https://breakingwell.com/2015/04/30/blong/. Sometimes choosing the right blong is difficult. When things are difficult I let others choose.