Peaches and Mints
In a make believe place in a time long ago,
A king made a law, that you couldn’t say “No!”
Yes “no” was a word, illegal to say,
Some folks had tried it, and were banished away!
To flatter the king, was the greatest of acts,
He welcomed the praising, while dismissing the facts.
His oversized body, had a wandering eye.
When the king made decisions, you couldn’t ask “Why?”
The kingdom was famous for creating new food.
Ancient economies were simple and crude.
All the great kings, would develop a flavor.
For subjects to taste, to sell and to favour.
The kingdom was known for great beer and wine.
All over the world, people waited in line.
To buy what this kingdom had newly created.
New flavours took time but the people just waited.
This king declared ,“I’m the smartest in the land!”
The bigger the boast, the smaller the hand.
He knew how to insult, he knew how to pose,
All secretly read,The Emperor’s New Clothes.
When playing card games, he was the ref and the ump.
To get an advantage, he would always call trump.
Winning was easy, when changing the rules.
You couldn’t distinguish, the scholar from fools.
Soon other kingdoms, supported this king,
Looking away, while kissing his ring.
There were too many nods, when there should have been winces.
His children all became princess or princes.
His team of supporters, were the ones that he hired,
But differing views, were thanked and then fired.
When asked, “What’s going on, give us a reason.”
He said, “Disloyalty is new word for treason!”
His minions expressed, the press mocked his leading,
That didn’t matter, as he didn’t like reading.
He much preferred speaking to a thunderous crowd,
Mocking dissent, while the cheering got loud.
His sisters and brothers encouraged the lies.
When you’re always right, why apologize?
He divided the kingdom, with lovers and haters,
Tipping the chef, but never the waiters.
As great as he was, this king had a flaw.
He made great decisions by breaking the law.
At first it was cute, he was just an apprentice.
Like a root canal botched, by a young clumsy dentist.
Year after year, his incompetence grew,
He was screwing up things, you couldn’t unscrew.
The king was quite clever, said “We have to be tough,
I’m smarter and know more about all of this stuff!”
“Ignore all the fakers, the deep inner state.
I’m all about love and they’re all about hate!
You all know that I am the greatest of kings.
Know so many words, so many things.”
“What will I do? Well I’ll give you a hint.
Here is a peach, and here is a mint.
Put them together, and what do you get?
A peachmint, a beautiful flavor we’re set.”
“I’ll call it Impeachmint, Damn it I’m smart.
I’ll win, I keep winning it’s now time to start.
Lets rally together, create this new taste
Save our economy no time to waste”
This kingdom so famous, for making new food.
Created a taste that couldn’t be brewed
No matter the effort, it just didn’t work.
He yelled at each worker, “You’re a loser! A jerk!”
He reminded his subjects, “We have to be tough”
But his subjects were tired, and they just had enough.
So the smartest king that the world ever knew.
Was placed in a vat of his impeachmint brew.
Though he bragged he was the greatest swimmer to swim.
He actually couldn’t, the future looked dim.
He kicked and he screamed, it was really a mess.
How did it end, well I’ll let you guess.
In a make believe place, in a time long ago.
A story is told, so people will know.
Some people rule, while others will serve.
But we all get the leaders, we truly deserve.
Cue the Blong… Been used before will use again, call it Madness if you will…
This is epic! Well done Dennis. I have forwarded a copy to Paul Szep – who loves to mock the king with his political cartoons.