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It’s Been Over a Year

It’s been over a year since you decided to leave,
We’ve all had a year to miss you and grieve.

The problem with that, is I feel out of touch,
Time doesn’t solve why I miss you so much.

On November the 9th, you would have been 89,
Had a long life, so all should be fine.

But it isn’t because I shouldn’t feel worse,
Those memories you left me, now seems a curse.

I think about you and your life everyday,
But I keep that so private, there is nothing to say.

We were lucky to have you, around for so long,
A few cups of wine with an old classic song.

I get it, that your parents eventually go,
It’s the circle of life, but I just didn’t know.

That my circle would break, like some petty theft,
Without explanation, right after you left.

A sister, a brother, a spouse or a friend,
Can’s seem to answer, why this won’t end?

Almost 88 years of a wonderful life,
Credible children and incredible wife.

I shouldn’t obsess over death like I do,
You deal better with loss, but I am not you.

As I work sincerely on my coping strategy,
Did you know that no word, rhymes with strategy?

So here is my problem and the problem is mine,
I can’t shake this mourning, while others feel fine.

It’s not like there weren’t the occasional fights,
As I argued over, a child’s “Bill of Rights”.

But time has the power to erase the bad times,
Like a forty year sentence erases the crimes.

Family nostalgia seasoned with schmaltz,
Some of them true, some of them false.

It’s quite a distraction, a bit of a mess,
When will it be that I think of him less.

So allow me to share my heart’s current state,
I am asking for patience from those who can wait

If you’re finished stealing, kid’s Halloween toffee,
And then we decide to go out for a coffee.

During that time I might look and stare,
With a lost look of vacancy, like I really don’t care.

But that isn’t true, though my look may not show it,
I’m just doing something, though you couldn’t know it.

A daily routine, though I can’t predict when,
A thought hits my brain of a man among men.

Sometimes it’s happy, sometimes it’s sad,
So just understand I am thinking of dad.

It won’t last too long, like a one-minute ad,
A memory of something that me and dad had.

It fades away quickly, pass me the cream,
The moment is over, a twelve second dream.

I won’t even mention it, no maudlin rant,
I try not to think of my dad, but I can’t.

So thank you to all, who have lost those they love,
Cause you understand, what I speaking of.

I think of you father every damn day,
It’s a character flaw, that won’t go away.

So to all of my family and all of my friends,
I know that the pain of a loss slowly ends.

I promise to stop from behaving this way,
I promise I will soon, just not today.

Cue the predictable blong…

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