It’s Been Over a Year
It’s been over a year since you decided to leave,
We’ve all had a year to miss you and grieve.
The problem with that, is I feel out of touch,
Time doesn’t solve why I miss you so much.
On November the 9th, you would have been 89,
Had a long life, so all should be fine.
But it isn’t because I shouldn’t feel worse,
Those memories you left me, now seems a curse.
I think about you and your life everyday,
But I keep that so private, there is nothing to say.
We were lucky to have you, around for so long,
A few cups of wine with an old classic song.
I get it, that your parents eventually go,
It’s the circle of life, but I just didn’t know.
That my circle would break, like some petty theft,
Without explanation, right after you left.
A sister, a brother, a spouse or a friend,
Can’s seem to answer, why this won’t end?
Almost 88 years of a wonderful life,
Credible children and incredible wife.
I shouldn’t obsess over death like I do,
You deal better with loss, but I am not you.
As I work sincerely on my coping strategy,
Did you know that no word, rhymes with strategy?
So here is my problem and the problem is mine,
I can’t shake this mourning, while others feel fine.
It’s not like there weren’t the occasional fights,
As I argued over, a child’s “Bill of Rights”.
But time has the power to erase the bad times,
Like a forty year sentence erases the crimes.
Family nostalgia seasoned with schmaltz,
Some of them true, some of them false.
It’s quite a distraction, a bit of a mess,
When will it be that I think of him less.
So allow me to share my heart’s current state,
I am asking for patience from those who can wait
If you’re finished stealing, kid’s Halloween toffee,
And then we decide to go out for a coffee.
During that time I might look and stare,
With a lost look of vacancy, like I really don’t care.
But that isn’t true, though my look may not show it,
I’m just doing something, though you couldn’t know it.
A daily routine, though I can’t predict when,
A thought hits my brain of a man among men.
Sometimes it’s happy, sometimes it’s sad,
So just understand I am thinking of dad.
It won’t last too long, like a one-minute ad,
A memory of something that me and dad had.
It fades away quickly, pass me the cream,
The moment is over, a twelve second dream.
I won’t even mention it, no maudlin rant,
I try not to think of my dad, but I can’t.
So thank you to all, who have lost those they love,
Cause you understand, what I speaking of.
I think of you father every damn day,
It’s a character flaw, that won’t go away.
So to all of my family and all of my friends,
I know that the pain of a loss slowly ends.
I promise to stop from behaving this way,
I promise I will soon, just not today.
Cue the predictable blong…