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For (four fore) You (ewe yew)

I’ll (aisle isle) air (err heir) an issue we (oui wee Wii) seem (seam) to (too two) struggle with these days (daze). I (eye aye) frequently see (sea) errors (airs errs), as you (ewe yew) write (right rite wright) your (yore you’re) annoying emails to me (mi).

The English language has way (weigh whey) too (two to) many words that have (halve) different meanings and spellings, but (butt) sound the same.  It’s (its) the base (bass) for the many poor (pour pore) puns, and the root (route) for the occasional great (grate) one (won).  This language deficiency is what (watt) allows your (you’re yore) aunt (ant) Mary (merry) to say, “Never trust a cross eyed teacher who can’t control their pupils!”

I’ll (aisle isle) site (sight cite) Shakespeare, who would (wood) agree: “To (two too) be (bee) or (oar ore) not (knot naught) to (two too) be (bee)”

Spelling errors (airs errs) are made every four (for fore) seconds as auto correct has made (maid) this situation even more (moor) prevalent.

I (eye aye) am not (knot naught) getting the sense (cents scents) that you (ewe yew) care about this, but (butt) I will write (right rite wright) about this for (fore four) the pair (pear pare) of you (ewe yew), who do (due dew) find my blogs (drivel) a bit (bitt) helpful.

Does this language issue strike a chord (cord cored)? Do (due dew) you (ewe yew) see (sea) this often? Allow me (mi) to seize (seas sees) this moment, to expose a flaw in our peculiar language and its (it’s) potential consequences.

For example, the homonym epidemic can have serious consequences with our (hour) own health and safety. Imagine a wild animal crisis, at your (yore you’re) local shopping center (centre).

By the time (thyme) you (ewe yew) text your (yore you’re) son (sun) that there (they’re their) is a bear (bare) loose in the mall (maul moll), it might (mite) be (bee) too (to two) late to help the dear (deer) child. Homer Simpson might simply yell “Doh!”, (doe dough) but wait (weight) for (fore four) what I (aye eye) pray (prey) might be helpful counsel (council), as you try and overcome the challenge with our (hour) current (currant) language scene (seen).

As I pour (poor pore) my heart (hart) out here (hear) or (oar ore) as some (sum) would say “overreact”, what (watt) is one (won) to (two too) do (dew due)? So (sow sew) as the weight (wait) of this language issue seems (seams) to be (bee) mine alone, I will press on as I always seem (seam) to (two too) do (due dew) as I (eye aye) humbly attempt to make the world (whirled) a better place.

The basis (bases basses) of my argument adds (ads) nothing new (gnu knew) to what (watt) many have read (red) before. By (buy bye) the way (weigh whey), that has never stopped me as I (aye eye) write (right rite wright) my weekly (weakly) blog. I (eye aye) wholly (holy holey) expect I (eye aye) might (mite) use (ewes yews) way (weigh whey) too (two to) many examples to make my point. A point that may grate (great) against the things you learned in your (yore you’re) high (hi heigh) school English course (coarse).

Our (hour) language abnormality can also affect your business career.

I flew (flu flue) to New (knew) York last week (weak) to meet (meat mete) Mark (marc Marque) to discuss a business deal. I (aye eye) sent (cent scent) him a message to confirm our meeting time (thyme). My plane (plain) trip took under two (to too) hours (ours) so I prepared my presentation as I waited (weighted) for (four fore) him (hymn).  I prepared a pair (pear pare) of presentations for this colleague. He is bald (bawled balled) and I have silver lochs (locks lox) so (sew sow) I (aye eye) wear (where ware) a hat when we meet (meat mete) to avoid focusing on our hair (hare) difference. As I rode (road) in the cab it started to (too two) rain (reign rein) so I put on another hat. We always meet (meat) at the same coffee shop.

The weather (whether) forced us to sit inside. We rapped (rapt wrapped) about the morning (mourning) news as we (wee Wii) ordered our teas (tees tease) and carrot (karat carat) muffins. In (inn) the end, no (know) deal was reached to gain capital (capitol) for my proposal, however he did say “Bite (byte bight) Me”, as his parting shot to (too two) make clear, his opinion of my brilliant idea. I blame language as I said great (grate) idea and I think he heard grate (great) idea.I am not sure if grateful (greatful) is a homonym, but I did take a great fall in New York.

Rather than praise (preys, prays) our language’s versatility, I (eye aye) raise (raze rays) the argument that may (May) strike a chord (cord cored) for (fore four) the few of you who read (reed) my stuff. Who knows (nose noes) if you will agree, so (sew sow) if my rant does not ring (wring) a bell (belle), I suppose this entire piece (peace) was wrote (rote) in vain, (vein vane). (It was actually written in my living room).

Have I (eye aye) whined (wind wined) too (two to) much for (fore four) you’re (yore your) delicate literary palette (pallet palate)? Did I (eye aye) not (naught knot) meet (meat mete) your expectations? Did this not pique (peek peak) your (yore you’re) curiosity here (hear) at all (awl)? If you (ewe yew) were bored (board) with this awful (aweful offal) piece (peace) I do (due dew) ask that you (ewe yew) give me a break (brake) as I stole, or (oar ore) is that steal (steel) a wee (we Wii) piece (peace) of your (yore you’re) busy day with an absolute waste (waist) of your time (thyme).

As I (eye aye) close (clothes), let’s (lets) be (bee) fair (fare) here (hear). This week (weak) my words may (May) have (halve) been (bean) harder to read (reed) than it was to write (right rite wright)!

 

Cue the Blong…One more bad pun…

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2 thoughts on “For (four fore) You (ewe yew)

  1. Dennis,
    I no for sum this won’t bee rite, butt it meats my kneads.

    I have shared this with my 10 year old grand daughter who loves homonyms! Thanks.

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