Back to the Future
The predictions of the movie Back To The Future II were being scrutinized recently because October 21, 2015 was the time destination for this time travel classic. Pundits revelled in the accuracy of what this movie predicted our future state might be. What really caught people’s attention was a futuristic billboard that proclaimed the Chicago Cubs would win the World Series. Well the Cubs were in the playoffs this year 2015, and the mere thought of the correctness of this 26 year old prediction was too much for many Chicago baseball fans to endure. For those who have not seen the movie the plot is very simple. A boy and a former taxi driver travel to the future to acquire advancements in stem cell research for Parkinson’s disease. The movie ends with a sad twist where the producers are forced to make another sequel to help finance the surprising cost of time travel.
The Chicago Cubs did not win the world series in 2015, The good news is nobody remembers predictions after time has passed, which encourages us to continue to forecast the future. For a much more academic look at the science of forecasting, please check out http://dennisfordconsulting.com/2015/04/16/forecasting/.
People’s tendency to celebrate their soothsaying skill is more than annoying. By people, I mean my relatives get far too much satisfaction proclaiming “I told you so” when things occur even marginally close to how the said they would happen. The ratio of correct predictions with most groups is less than one percent, which explains the popularity of letting others know when you are right.
If you are a believer in psychic ability, and by believer I mean you have money to burn, I offer this ad that appears in all of those free newspapers at your local mall, to help you make a much more informed decision.
Occupations like Psychics, Spiritualists, and Financial Planners are a growing business that keep people optimistic about what could happen tomorrow . Tarrot Cards now outsell decks of cards as consumers desperately look for an edge to help to plan their weekly activities.
Since this idea might add a much needed revenue stream to my floundering duct cleaning business, I am more than a willing participant in an occupation without consequences. A job that rewards poor performance without consequences is too damn irresistible to ignore. After scouring the job market, and discovering there are no openings at my local TV Stations for weatherman, here are my predictions for what I believe the world will look like 30 years from today.
Modest Predictions for 2045
1. Still no progress on the hoverboard, yet significant improvements on skateboard wheels goes relatively unnoticed.
2. Back to the Future XVII fails miserably at the box office.
3. The Chicago Cubs win the Stanley Cup.
4. Peace in the Middle East, but only on the west side of the Middle East. To be more accurate peace in the Middle West.
5. Dancing with the Stars is cancelled as the “has been” celebrity pool runs dry.
6. Moving sidewalks are the number cause of deaths in North America overtaking heart disease.
7. McDonalds introduces the McPuppy burger, which only does well in Asia.
8. The Apple Watch finally catches on.
9. California gets a little rain.
10. Pee Wee Herman wins is third Oscar for Best Actor.
11. The BreakingWell.com website welcome it’s twenty-first follower.
12. I move in with my kids as they forgot they gave me a spare key to their house.
13. The price of gas stabilizes at $234.57 a gallon
14. The Global warming debate continues as most of the population now lives on houseboats.
15. My unread email file finally reaches 1 billion.
16. The Who’s reunion concert with the band’s grandkids is the top concert of the year.
17. The U.S.A lands a five person team on Mars, and immediately opens a Starbucks coffee shop,
18. The New York Stock Exchange is replaced by a weekly lottery, where investors finally start to make some money.
19. The Catholic Church welcomes female priests and immediately elects it’s first female pope. The new more stylish hat gives Pope Glinda a Lady Diana kind of look.
20. A male finally wins an argument with a female, and a national holiday is declared.
21. Monsanto develops a seedless pumpkin. Carving Jack-O-Laterns becomes a breeze.
22. Still no cure for cancer, however pet Viagra is the number 1 prescription drug.
23. To address the epidemic obesity problem, WalMart imposes weight restrictions in their cookie aisle.
24. “Justin Bieber Sings The Oldies” is the number one download of the year. Michael Buble cancels his Christmas special.
25. It turns out daily consumption of a glass of red wine, a cup of coffee, and red meat cure most diseases.
Twenty-five seems like a reasonable number to send to the future. Here is a bonus prediction. Don’t you love it when your personal psychic gives you a free bonus prediciton. In 2045 your grandchildren will ask you “What was the internet?”, as they replace the little lithium battery in their communication brain chip.
Cue the Blong: Time is a fascinating concept that boggles even the greatest minds. Well maybe not fascinating but certainly more interesting than this week’s blog.