Green Eggs and Debt

Green Eggs and Debt (If Dr. Seuss was a financial planner)

I am Bret, Bret I am.

Financially planner, oh here comes Sam.

Sit down Sam, It’s time we met.

I think we should discuss your debt.

I will not talk about my debt.

I will not talk about that Bret.

Sam budget talks are kinda bland.

I put it so you’ll understand.

 

In gambler terms, you’ve lost the bet.

Do you like green eggs and debt?

I do not like discussing debt.

I do no like you guy named Bret.

Sam you’re being kind of rude.

I don’t like your attitude.

What you like Bret, not my concern.

I need to buy that Grecian urn.

 

A Grecian earns way more than you.

You’ve lost control and bills are due.

I am not here to defend.

But I just really love to spend.

You must escape this debtor’s net.

It’s time you managed all this debt.

I do not like you guy named Bret.

Off to the spa, I need to sweat.

 

You’re never looking far ahead.

Ignoring what their parents said.

Every day you’re getting burned.

Spending more than you have earned.

Every month you take a trip.

You drink too much, should learn to sip.

Make a budget, take control.

Where’s your conscious?  Where’s your soul?

 

You have less money than a fox.

Sam your life is on the rocks.

This is why things get so hard.

You must destroy your credit card.

Bret I’ll use my parent’s will,

To rectify my spending thrill.

Your waiting for your folks to die?

To solve your debt, you must be high!

 

I see a bargain, I say yes.

With money I do not possess.

I do not like green eggs and debt.

But I sure love each thing I get.

You have less money than a calf.

You need to cut your spend in half..

I do not like green eggs and debt.

I guess I’ll have to sell my pet.

 

With your family members crying.

Maybe you should resist buying.

Your credit card just makes you bleed.

You purchase things you’ll never need.

I believe that things are fine.

I shop at malls, I shop online.

What’s this thing called interest rate?

It’s like a very costly date.

 

When wondering where your money went.

Interest rates nineteen percent.

With every credit card you use.

Contributes to your credit blues.

Pay the balance, be a man.

You say can’t, I say can.

Sam you’re looking kind of bored.

Still buying what you can’t afford.

 

Bret your words are more than dull.

Can’t penetrate my stubborn skull.

Conspiracy must be at play.

As bills keep coming every day.

Have you seen the price of gas?

I won’t self serve, I’m such an ass.

I max my cards with no regret.

I do not like green eggs and debt.

 

I’ve had enough, so listen Sam

Fix that hole, your leaky dam.

I’ll do what I always do.

Make a dollar, while spending two.

You will never own a house.

You cannot afford a mouse.

What’s with these millenials?

They never plant perennials.

 

So in conclusion Mr. Sam.

You can’t afford green eggs and ham.

Control the things you want to buy.

Your lack of planning bleeds you dry.

Only purchase what you need.

Not what you want, and then indeed.

You can overcome this state.

And never pay the interest rate.

 

When your balance gets to zero

You’ll be a financial hero.

That’s how smart adults behave.

Not what you spend but what you save.

Bret if I do what you say.

Will you simply go away?

Sam I will, now that you’re set.

So love green eggs and hate the debt.

 

 

 

Cue the Blong

Now as many wise economic experts will profess:

“When it’s debt you must defeat

Ensure you use a catchy beat”