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The World’s First Interactive Blog (Blong)

 

One of the many shortcomings for the millions of people who write blogs, which I respectfully label “those other serious blogs”, is their inability to really connect with their audience. Upon reflection it is very difficult to compete with the interactive video game world. The sophistication of technology that now allows a fifteen-year old kid in Canada, to play a video game against a fifteen-year old kid in Cambodia, is hard to even comprehend. Interactivity is the new value added metric in success of the computer driven world.

Many bloggers shudder at the idea of “in the moment” interaction. Not me. I concede, that in order to reach a much larger audience, I must accept the reality of interactivity, as the new standard for writer’s acceptance . There is one minor point. This minor point is so insignificant it is hardly worth mentioning. I will mention it, as I have a history of constantly mentioning things that are not worth mentioning. In order for interactivity to occur, I will simply assume what others are going to say to ensure the accuracy and legitimacy of my exciting first interactive blog. As I attempt to appeal to the technophiles, who try to make everything they touch go viral, I am just trying to” keep it real” here.

Me:

Today’s blog will explore the interesting developments and advancements engineering has contributed to refrigeration technology.

You:

Really, that sounds more boring than your last blog on the interesting developments and advancements engineering has contributed to the combustible engine.

Me:

Wow this is a much harder idea than I thought!

You:

I am already very uninterested with your blog. Are you watching the Bachelorette?  Can you believe who got a rose last night?

Me:

No I don’t watch reality shows, but we did just buy a new refrigerator, and I am stunned at its effortless cooling efficiency.

You:

How about the Game of Thrones? Can you believe what they are doing with the twists of the plot lines.

Me:

No, I don’t watch TV shows that force me to think.

You:

Okay, what about the Uber vs. the taxi option. Where do you stand on the integrity of trained drivers vs. adhoc cost efficient transportation?

Me:

Never really gave that much thought. You know I can get ice whenever I want now. The days of filling plastic trays with water are long gone.

You:

Do people tell you that you are the least interesting man in the world. You know like that Dos Equis guy in the commercials, only the opposite.

Me:

I find your last comment a little caustic and judgmental. I have lots of friends who really enjoy my conversations, when they finally answer the phone.

You:

Ya, how many Twitter followers do you have. I have 312,456.

Me:

What’s Twitter?

You:

I bet you are sitting at your computer right now, trying to figure out how to cut and paste. 

Me:

I know how to do that… just watch me. What’s Twitter?

You:

I have been downloading seventeen apps while talking to you, including the new Block Dennis app, which is free from Google Play.

Me:

You are on your phone? I am at a keyboard, I can’t type very fast on those small devices.

You:

I am typing to you while driving in the fast lane, playing songs on my playlist from ITunes, getting directions from Onstar, as I am playing Warframe with a friend in Texas. Don’t worry I have my seatbelt on, because I have the greatest respect for the rules of the road.

Me:

What kind of combustible engine does your car have?

You:

How the hell did you get my number? This is like time travelling back to the 1980s.

Me:  You seem a little angry, Are you aware of what we are creating here?  This conversation will end up in a very prestigious museum, somewhere near the Alexander Graham Bell exhibit, the Steve Jobs display and the Miley Cyrus Twerking Retrospective. You will thank me one day for making you more famous than me.

You:  You seem a little nuts?  Do you seriously think anybody actually cares about what you write?

Me:

A mutual friend told me you were interested in my blogs.

You:

No I hate your blogs. What I said to my friend, was my dad used to play a video game with a frog, I think it was called Frogger.

Me:

Hey I used to play that too. Have you seen the Seinfeld episode… 

You:

This is the worst conversation I have ever had, and that includes my tweets with Kanye West. Good-bye!

 

So there it is folks, the world’s very first interactive blog.

World: Thank you

Me:  You’re Welcome

I am convinced I have broken sacred new ground here. A new frontier that will finally advance the world of technology in a favourable direction. Without sounding too self righteous, I have single handedly raised the bar for technical achievements far beyond what even I could have imagined. . Years from now, literary scholars will just marvel at how one man could change the fundamental technology landscape so much, with one simple idea. Isn’t that always the way it goes?  The simple ideas are always the best ideas.

Now to honour the original theme of this blog, before I was so rudely interrupted by you, I must say I am still pretty excited about this new refrigerator of mine. Did I tell you it has an automatic ice dispenser? God I love technology.

 

Cue the Blong: Have you ever wondered what Creedence Clearwater Revival’s song Proud Mary would sound like if the chord changes were reversed?  Of course you have,  It would sound sound exactly like this:

 

 

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